We have a minority for every occasion. Whether it’s a tech conference panel, an awards show, an advert, or a business meeting, we will collaborate to find the right minority for you. All of our minorities have been vetted to ensure they are not “too black” or “too Muslim” or “too much of a Feminist.” We know how awkward that can be. Each minority comes with bespoke pricing based on a proprietary algorithm that analyzes current states of supply/demand and the Degree of Diversity (TM) intrinsic to the potential hire.
Mexican? Arab? Asian? Mixed? What even are they?! It doesn't matter...the exotic Ethnically Ambiguous minority can be whoever or whatever you want her/him to be.
Cheerful Woman of Color
Won't embarrass you by being "an angry black woman."
Smiling Muslim Woman
Certified not to support ISIS (or your money back).
Intellectual Black Guy
Good for tech conferences. Also available to stand next to you while you say racist things at parties. Because you can't be racist if one of your best friends is black, obvs.